Adam Lamble

I had my first exam of my second year today. It went pretty well and afterward I thought to myself that there was nothing that could possibly happen that would ruin what might very well turn into the best day of my life. Some higher power took this as a challenge and did the one thing that could hurt me the most. When I arrived back at my apartment after my test I received word from a reliable source that Star Trek: The Experience, the Las Vegas Star Trek themed restaurant/bar/museum/amusement ride/dream-come-true will be closing after a strong ten year run. Beyond the disappointment of losing, what some consider, one of our country’s national treasures, this completely throws off my dream wedding plans. Thank goodness for backup plans.

I’ll be in mourning for an indefinite amount of time. I’d like to dedicate this collage to Major Kahlen.

(This is the first part of the 41 part series: What I Don’t Want To Be When I Grow Up)

Pathology

The specialty of Pathology is described as the study and diagnosis of disease through examination of molecules, cells, tissues and organs… including bodily fluids (enuf said). So far, about half of my med schoolin’ has been devoted to Pathology. We are taught incredibly obscure, yet seriously debilitating diseases with the hope that if we know what happens when something goes wrong, it’ll help us understand what it means when things are going right. Of course, learning from diseases our professors fully expect us never to see in practice is probably what breeds the over diagnosis of “zebras“.

While Pathologists are extremely essential to the the health care field, I think I’m gonna pass. You see, to be a Pathologist you have to give up eating food… forever. This is because it’s rare to make it through a lecture on a disease without using at least one culinary adjective to describe some part of the process.

For example (obviously if you have a weak stomach, mom, you should skip this paragraph), you know what sounds delicious? Some pie with some honey colored crust. Yum, right? Wrong! You’re about to bite into some ruptured Impetigo pustules that have eroded and are now covered with a dry serum, classically described as a “honey colored crust”. You like grapes? Not anymore (a Hydatiform Mole, which on gross exam resembles “a cluster of grapes”)! Cheese has been ruined for me thanks to Caseous (literally “cheesy”) Necrosis. And don’t even get me started on cauliflower.

On a more serious note, Pathology is not a clinical specialty, meaning the doctor doesn’t really work directly with patients, but more as a consultant for other doctors. For me, patient relationships (and more specifically, continuity of care) is too large of an aspect of medicine to give up and will be a large deciding factor for me when settling on a specialty. Therefore, Pathology, you’re off the team. I just love food way too much.

To receive credit for my summer international elective we had to be evaluated by the program coordinator and then present what we learned in some sort of report. They didn’t give us strict guidelines on what our report had to consist of (examples included an essay, journal, and powerpoint presentation) and I ended up just writing a seven page paper but this was not my first choice for the presentation. My girlfriend told me my original idea was a bad one, claiming it was “too short” or “unprofessional” or “really dumb”. But I spent too much time on it for it not to be published.

Intellectuality, one of the many attributes I increased on this trip
Never had I seen so much rain
During this trip I ate a lot of Indian food
Italy is different from India
Adam is going to be a great doctor!

Did you see what I did there? I’m not sure if it’s apparent or not, but I took the first letter of each of my sentences and spelled out India with them. Art!

When meeting someone for the first time or catching up with someone I haven’t talked to in a while I always shift the conversation to me so inevitably the question is asked, “So, have you decided what you want to specialize in yet?” Ignoring the fact that a large percentage (albeit a shrinking percentage) of doctors remain general practitioners, choosing a specialty is a decision that should only be made based on experience. Naturally, as second year medical students we’ve had more clinical experience than you, common folk, but 90% of this experience will come in our third and fourth years when we begin our rotations. For example, I’ve always enjoyed working with children, but there is a big difference between working with children and treating sick children (let alone working with their parents).

As frustrated as I am when I have to say, “Oh, I’m not sure yet,” I, of course, understand why people ask. I can’t expect everyone to know the path of a medical student. If I were to talk to a law student I’d probably ask them if they’re going to practice similar to Law & Order or like on Boston Legal. Also, it doesn’t help that some of my colleagues claim to have known they’ve wanted to be Pediatric Cardiothoracic Surgeons their whole life or some other ridiculous super sub-specialty that they saw on ER. Med school is a lot like undergrad. While there might be a small number of students that do know what they want and will pursue it until the end, the majority of us don’t and will flip flop multiple times before settling in. I personally believe this to be a good thing and is conducive to a long professional lifetime.

Therefore, my strategy isn’t to choose a specialty. I worry that if I “pick” a path prematurely, I wont give all my options a fair and open chance, especially when I encounter them on my rotations. Therefore, my strategy is to prematurely eliminate specialties that I’ve established a poorly informed opinion about. You should look forward to the first of this 41 part series (number or U.S. recognized board certified medical and surgical specialties) soon.

(Sung to the tune of Can’t Take My Eyes Off You)

You’re just too good to be blue,
Can’t take the ball off you,
You’ve got a heavenly touch,
You pass like Souness to Rush,
And when we’re pissed in the bars,
We thank the Lord that your ours,
You’re just too good to be true,

We love you Stevie,
Cause you’re red and white,
We love you Stevie,
Cause you hate the shite,
We love you Stevie!

The beginning of the ten month long premiership season began today. Liverpool starts the season in style by beating the Sunderland wankers 1-0 with a late goal from none other than the Spanish Prince himself. The cheer above is from a book I received for my birthday (pictured above, along with the sweet, new Liverpool kit my girlfriend got me), compliments of my brother-in-law. You can expect a lot more of these.

Success! I have won the lottery! This means the prize I get for winning my first ever random drawing is the opportunity to take (and pay for) an optional evening class that should have been offered to everyone in the first place!

I want to learn Spanish. I know you’re thinking, “But wait, Adam. Haven’t you already taken two and a half years of high school Introductory Spanish? What more can you possibly learn!?” Yes, granted I probably have the credentials to teach a class in high level Spanish but I’m talking about something a little more specialized. Kind of like the optional Medical Spanish course I have attempted to sign up for at my school.

I say attempted because there are only 25 spots and 47 applicants. The simple solution, to me, would be to get another teacher or offer another day for the class (it’s only one night a week). The simple solution to KU, on the other hand, is to have a good old-fashioned lottery! It’s a shame that this class won’t be offered to everyone interested in it because there is no doubt speaking Spanish is going to be a large part of this countries future and our future as physicians. Another reason having a lottery is a shame is because I’m a Lamble, and Lambles never win raffles.

In other Spanish news, I’m sure most of you saw this photo of the Spanish basketball team that was put in Spain’s best selling newspaper as a good luck ad. I wasn’t really surprised to see a professional team do a picture like this because I’ve been involved with a lot of sports teams and when that many guys get together they do really stupid stuff. But I did find it weird that no editors for a major news publication thought it might be a tad inappropriate.

Coinciding with the end of last week, orientation wrapped up for the incoming first years and classes will begin today for them any myself. Why, it seems like just last year when I was going through “M1″ orientation myself. I didn’t involve myself very much with the first year orientation this year because I strongly advocate the philosophy of learning things the hard way… and it was during my vacation… and I’m lazy. To avoid being a complete bum though, I did volunteer for the “big sib” mentor program and briefly attended the activities fair.

With the mentor program I have “adopted” a very lucky first year to bestow all of my wisdom upon. This will most likely consist of me taking him out to Chipotle one day for lunch to reassure him that med school is not impossible and he won’t fail out all while exaggerating how awesome I am.

Beyond my giant sense of personal altruism, I went to the activities fair with the intentions of supporting Nina, who is an active member of the Infectious Disease interest group. But since the fair was at our school’s gym and after receiving a couple giggles in regards to the notion of a boyfriend/girlfriend manning the table for an Infectious Disease interest group I quickly bailed to pump some iron and watch Sportscenter. I know, I know, she’s a lucky girl.

My good friend and apprentice, Dave, just got accepted into medical school at the Kansas City University of Medicine and Biosciences. This is very exciting news because of all of my past roommates that have gone onto medical school, he will probably make the best physician.

I know I’ve said this before but I completely intend to post more now that I’m beginning a new year of school. In the past, whenever my life gets busy, boring, or I see something shiny, blogging becomes an afterthought. Fortunately, I’ve come up with the perfect solution. Shorter posts + less thought put into the content + ???? = more posts/profit!

Dapetomania: “a mental illness described by American physician Samuel A. Cartwright in 1851 that caused black slaves to flee captivity. Today, drapetomania is considered an example of pseudoscience, and part of the edifice of scientific racism.” (Wikipedia)

This word was dropped on us last year when a professor of ours wanted to make sure that we knew that physicians have been wrong in the past… once. I considered not posting this because I felt like it would just give more ammunition to conspiracy theorists/crazies/my sister who claim doctors are evil because they cause autism/allergies from vaccinations and cancer from sunscreen. But, like I said earlier, I really want to post more.